Late last night, or early this morning (frankly, we were sleeping at the time), Terri gave birth to a healthy baby girl potato. TerriTot is 1 inch long and weighs 1.2 ounces. Mother and daughter are resting comfortably.

The birthing process was not nearly as arduous as we all speculated. A couple of twists left, and TerriTot popped right off. Dr. Good issued the following statement: “Baby potatoes know when it’s their time. They’ve been doing it for centuries. It’s just one of the everyday miracles we tend to overlook.”

Terri has released this officially licensed photo to keep the paparazzi stalkers away from her yurt. Tempest in a Teardrop paid $15 for exclusive world rights. We quickly ran it through our cartoon-rendering machine so you can see the Terri you’ve come to know and laugh at.

Terri is now on maternity leave, which leaves us in a bit of a bind. We’d planned to run a live comic strip version of the birthing process on Labor Day. Instead, we’re moving up a series demonstrating how you can be a bad ally to any movement or organization to which you ostensibly belong.

Meanwhile, we’re preparing supplies for the cleanup task that will surely fall to us. It involves olive oil, garlic, salt, and a cast iron skillet, of all things…