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First off, minimal research went into this piece. The reasons should become obvious. It also involved no food, little sleep, and units of comfort measured on the pico scale. You might want to consider this before reading further. Codex, for example, refused to edit this post.

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I recently concluded that we’ve taken the completely wrong approach to our financial life. That was nine hours ago. We’re now gourmet pastry chefs.

Research has been conducted. Techniques have been practiced. Orders have been placed. We’ve decided to enter at the lower-end of the gourmet market and work our way up as fame, recognition, and awards make their way to our new bakery. We’re still toying with the name, but I’m thinking there are worse choices than The Tempest in a Teardrop Tart Temple. Our treats will start in the $100-$150 dollar range.

The key to success in the gourmet pastry market is to specialize. We’re Americans. We picked doughnuts. Continue reading →

Something unnatural is going on in Australia. Vampiric mystery dates, naked restaurants, and tree-chanting protestors are merely symptoms of a far more nefarious scheme. The latest weirdness is as disturbing as it is cute. Read on, curious reader, because I was either going to write about another disturbing trend in Oz, or the century-sized naked Trump protest rally in Cleveland.

I couldn’t show pictures of that, so here we are. Continue reading →