The Mysterious Dark Cult of Master Pâtissiers

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I recently concluded that we’ve taken the completely wrong approach to our financial life. That was nine hours ago. We’re now gourmet pastry chefs.

Research has been conducted. Techniques have been practiced. Orders have been placed. We’ve decided to enter at the lower-end of the gourmet market and work our way up as fame, recognition, and awards make their way to our new bakery. We’re still toying with the name, but I’m thinking there are worse choices than The Tempest in a Teardrop Tart Temple. Our treats will start in the $100-$150 dollar range.

The key to success in the gourmet pastry market is to specialize. We’re Americans. We picked doughnuts. Continue reading

Agent K is Real*

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Something unnatural is going on in Australia. Vampiric mystery dates, naked restaurants, and tree-chanting protestors are merely symptoms of a far more nefarious scheme. The latest weirdness is as disturbing as it is cute. Read on, curious reader, because I was either going to write about another disturbing trend in Oz, or the century-sized naked Trump protest rally in Cleveland.

I couldn’t show pictures of that, so here we are. Continue reading

Tropico 5 Guest Review

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Today, we have a special guest writer playing and reviewing Tropico 5, a city-building political simulation computer game in which the player is the leader of a banana republic. Hillary and her personal assistant, Huma, sat down to walk us through their experience playing the game.

Hello. I’m Hillary. As you know, I’m running for President of the United States of America. Although eminently over-qualified, a little more practice can’t hurt. I was hesitant to take time out of my busy schedule to write this, but Quizzer pointed out the inroads I could make with the oft-overlooked cutlery vote. After the tremendously good news I received last week, I finally said, “What the heck! It isn’t like anyone will read it anyway!” Continue reading