I recently concluded that we’ve taken the completely wrong approach to our financial life. That was nine hours ago. We’re now gourmet pastry chefs.

Research has been conducted. Techniques have been practiced. Orders have been placed. We’ve decided to enter at the lower-end of the gourmet market and work our way up as fame, recognition, and awards make their way to our new bakery. We’re still toying with the name, but I’m thinking there are worse choices than The Tempest in a Teardrop Tart Temple. Our treats will start in the $100-$150 dollar range.

The key to success in the gourmet pastry market is to specialize. We’re Americans. We picked doughnuts. Continue reading →

Something unnatural is going on in Australia. Vampiric mystery dates, naked restaurants, and tree-chanting protestors are merely symptoms of a far more nefarious scheme. The latest weirdness is as disturbing as it is cute. Read on, curious reader, because I was either going to write about another disturbing trend in Oz, or the century-sized naked Trump protest rally in Cleveland.

I couldn’t show pictures of that, so here we are. Continue reading →

Yet another new trend is sweeping the globe that Tempest in a Teardrop readers should be aware of. Eating out has been a “thing” since Grok visited Karnk in the next cave over because Karnk had nifty drawings of the animals being eaten. Primitive men decided to call it “atmosphere,” but it didn’t hurt that Karnks’ wives strategically wore Chinchilla fur before the concept of sewing had been invented. Grok was willing to spend extra spear points to get the personal service he deserved, and all parties went home happy, except for the mammoth who modeled for the cave drawings and was subsequently eaten for his trouble. Continue reading →

The latest trend that’s all the rage is… rage. In the UK, the Tantrum Club believes over-stressed women can gain relief by pummeling pillows with baseball bats, jumping on bubble wrap, and writing their angriest thoughts on balloons before popping them. Screaming fits and obscenities are encouraged. Participants get a decent workout at the same time. Continue reading →

One corollary of Sturgeon’s Law is that viewers have to consume a ton of entertainment in order to find gems hidden in the sea of toxic waste. Unless they take precautions, this could produce harmful mental side effects. We at Tempest in a Teardrop are doing our best to highlight excellence by occasionally reviewing books, movies, and video games.

We recently had the chance to watch Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Codex has not only read the original Jane Austen novel, but has watched nearly every film version of the classic love story. Zombies appeal to my sense of humor and provide a comforting illusion of normalcy in our crazy modern world. By combining these two ideas, the film provides the formula for a win-win date night. Continue reading →

Each of these recent news stories deserves a second look, because we can never learn too much from the internet.

Bargain Freezer

If, heaven forbid, somebody were to die in your house, would you
A) Call 911
B) Call the coroner
C) Call your lawyer
D) Stuff the corpse in a freezer, wait six months, then sell the freezer to a neighbor for the bargain-basement price of $30

If you answered anything but D, you must be a new reader here. Welcome! Continue reading →