News outlets all around the country have finally noticed the outbreak of creepy killer clowns. This isn’t surprising. The media is usually last to hop on the zeitgeist train, which means I needed to get this post published fast. The incidents have everything a presstitute craves when breaking a story. They’re unusual, have a macabre twist, terrify the public into paying attention, and can be blamed on Donald Trump. We’re all anxiously waiting to see how they’ll do that.

Scooby Doo would have already tackled this mystery and we’d be talking about the shocking reveal all over social media by now. Continue reading →